A Post Regarding My Curious State of Being

So.

Well.

I have no idea where this post is going. I'm rusty, obviously. Pulling up the Blogger beta Dashboard was like prying something almost entirely deteriorated out of the ground. Isn't that a sad metaphor? But at the end of the day, I have to be honest with myself. And you all. I've been absolutely lousy at posting these past several months.

You probably want to know why I've been lousy at posting. (The five of you who read me, that is.) Most of you know. You got tired of waiting and asked me, and I told you. I like, changed careers about 2 1/2 months ago. I was a Sourcing Specialist (similar to a recruiter) and then my company went through some pretty major growing pains, and then my company bought a very tiny Web Analytics firm, and then I moved over to that very tiny Web Analytics firm and became a Web Analyst. So that's my job now, and shit.

Many of the five of you might inquire: What does a Web Analyst do?

But really?

Do you really think you want to open that door? Do you want to hear about heat maps and KPIs and web trending and dashboards and bounce rates and Unique Visitors and on and on and on? You don't. I assure you. I LOVE what I do now. I LOVE my job. Seriously. But I do NOT want to write about it. I mean, unless there's a healthy dose of irony involved. (Or unless the company pays me.) So just know that I have a totally new career and all, and will be happy to answer any questions about it via email. Or, alternately, over a ridiculously ironic comment thread here on this blog, if you so wish.

So part of why I haven't been writing is because of the new career. I'm EXHAUSTED. I have to cram so much technical information into my head each day that when I get home, I just want to watch dumb television or read or IM with some of you (some of you being Alison, with whom I am IMing right now as I write this post. Alison really has to deal with some crazies, people. Her posts are not hyperboles, I tells ya.)

Another part of why I haven't been writing is because I want to rebrand this site and decide how I want to move forward with it. Do I want a theme? Because the "theme" up until now has been: Leslie. She Crazy In Her Head! Like, do I want to draw it together more? Make it more cohesive? Not that I'm interested in "selling," per se, but I would like a substantive readership. (And by "substantive" I mean, like, maybe in the 7-10 person range. I shoot for the stars, people.) And I would like some consistency, in some fashion, somehow. I just don't know how I want it all to go down. (Also, part of me being a Web Analyst now is that I'm actually learning how to, you know, analyze the web. So this means that when I do revamp this space, I can do so in a ridiculously "bling" fashion. Via some high class developers we just hired a few months back. I'm just REALLY INVOLVED in the whole big, long, arduous process of learning about all of the necessary tools by which I will be able to revamp in the somewhat near future. So part of me doesn't even want to begin rebranding until I'm an [a? Depends on how you "pronounce" the acronym, right?] SME {that's Subject Matter Expert for people who don't know. Do you see how annoying I've become in my normalcy? SME? Really? Seriously? RS?})

Another another part of why I haven't been writing is because I'm curiously (see there how I tied it all back to the title of the post? I am gifted, y'all) uninterested in writing these days. I'm interested in consuming. I'm interested in reading, and at a voracious level. I'm interested in learning, and being taught. I've gone back into full-on student mode. So that makes me this massive sponge, and I just want to absorb. I'm also incredibly vocal at work (and am encouraged to be so, which is sweet!) and am sort of the social coordinator for a lot of our events. I've never been so socially involved at work--not since I was a waitress 'round about 3 years ago. It's made a difference. It's easier for me to come home after a day at work and contemplate what relationships I built that day than to write about it--because I can't really write about it. Because it's in a nebulous, unwriteableaboutit space.

Can you tell that I'm losing steam? And whoa. I still have two more paragraphs to go. It seems that now I actually DO have some (however deluded) notion of where this post is going.

Another another another part of why I haven't been writing is because I will be given the opportunity to blog for work in the very near future. (They're not going to pay me. They're just going to let me. Good enough--let's go.) We just launched our new website this week, and we've all been given permission to blog on it. I told you earlier in this post that I don't want to write about Web Analytics. That's not strictly true. I mean, it is sort of true. I just want to be given the freedom to find a voice within the realm of Web Analytics that is creative, flexible, agile, deft, and intuitive. Those are all vague terms, right? Okay, what I really mean is this: I would love to write about Web Analytics in a dynamic and creative way--in a way that is entirely compelling and interesting to an audience, and in a way that no one has ever tackled before. (I shoot for the stars, people. Have I mentioned that before?) I think part of why they hired me is because I'm a writer (though not a very reliable one as of late) and therefore capable of efficient and whimsical communication--whimsy being the key. Also, I'm REAL goddamn handy with a label-maker, and I've proven it time over time. I'm not sure whether that ever came up in my interviews, but it became very apparent very immediately after I started. What can I say? I had some prior experience . . .

Lastly, another another another another part of why I haven't been writing is because (and this is just a recent thing--like a thing that sort of halfway cemented itself in my head TONIGHT) I think I have sort of a good, sophisticated idea for a screenplay in mind. I haven't had notions of writing a screenplay in quite a while, despite having been heavily involved on all levels with the filmmaking my company does. (I only co-penned one of the shorts that we produced, which was fine, because I got to co-direct on everything, which was entirely awesome.) But the point is, I was sort of lying up there earlier, when I said that I'm curiously (See? There. Did it again. So clevah!) uninterested in writing. Sometimes I go through spells of not wanting to write. But really, I always want to write.

Let's just hope some of this momentum sticks. With the writing, and all.

This one is for you, SG. Thanks for pushing me. Sometimes I really need it.