The HiPo Lounge

So it's like, a blog about me. And my notions about some things.

Location: Seattle, Washington, United States

I'm, like, direct.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Some Failure. And Some Not So Much Failure. And A Meme Courtesy Of Mr. Lady

Many of you are probably wondering how I'm doing with that whole "giving up cigarettes Cold Turkey" and all. I wish I could tell you that I am A Rock Star God who was able to give up cigarettes with no problem whatsoever. But I can't tell you that.

I've been cheating. Not A LOT cheating, but cheating nonetheless. I made it 48 hours without a cigarette, and then I wanted to kill someone, so instead of killing someone, I smoked. There you have it. So, new game plan. This lady was kind enough to obtain a "Quit Smoking" hypnotherapy CD for me. It arrived in the mail on Friday, and I will be listening to it every night before I go to sleep. Hopefully, it will work. I also think I could benefit from an actual hypnotherapy session, but I'll have to save up for that. And I have cut back significantly. Not that this is an excuse, but, you know, I'm just sayin'. I'm sorry to disappoint you all. But I have to move on and in another direction, and try not to beat myself up about this "failure." Wish me luck.

In other news, I had a banner week in the professional world. I managed to successfully argue my way into a plane ticket, lodging, and an Interactive Wristband for SXSW in Austin at the beginning of March. This was a little bit like waging war, in that I had to keep making the case, over and over again, about why it would benefit the entire company for me to be down there. Since what I do at a fundamental level at the company is relatively new (concept-wise) this was no easy feat. But I somehow swindled it. For five days, I will be basking in the Austin sun (or rather, stealing glances of the Austin sun as I move through various conference rooms, listening to panel after panel of Interactive Speakers) and recruiting and researching for the company. The music side of SXSW doesn't kick off until Wednesday when I leave, but I'm actually sort of grateful for this, because I think I'll just want to relax and hang out with my friends during the evening. And I'm sure there will be live music somewhere in the city. It's Austin, for fuck's sake. I also signed on for some other film projects this week (I love that this company makes little movies! It's so awesome.) Anyway, I feel like I had a very important week at this new place. So I'm pretty pleased about it. And it's starting to feel like family. And that's what I was really looking for in a job.

Anyway, I owe this chick a meme--whether I'm smoking or not--so here goes:

How long have you been blogging?

It will be 2 years this July.

What inspired you to start a blog and who are your mentors?

I was TOTALLY anti-blog forever, and then I started reading A's (see first link above) blog and of course, this blog. And I started thinking, "Dude, I am a writer who is NOT writing. What the fuck is up with that?" And so I thought I would give it a shot. Right out of the gates I became acquainted with Mr. Lady's blog (see second link above.) Those three are my mentors, for the most part. But I mean, I like to think that we're all here to mentor one another, y'know?

Are you trying to make money online, or just doing it for fun?

I'm not trying to make money (although if Wes Anderson reads any of this and is like, "Dude, I could totally use this chick to help me out with my next clever film project," I ain't gonna balk) but I'm not just doing it for fun. I'm doing it to connect to you all, to contextualize my life a little bit. I mean, it is fun, but it's deeper than that for me.

What 3 things do you love about being online?

1. I have connected with people that I know well, better. (Thank you. Molla.)

2. I have connected with people that I don't know at all but who are similar to me, or have perspectives I wouldn't have known about or considered prior to the blogging. (Thanks again, Molla.)

3. Getting feedback. I like it when y'all talk to me. I want to know what you think, and I want it to deepen my understanding of you and of myself and all of our processes. It's about strengthing the bonds we have with one another.

What 3 things do you struggle with online?

1. Actually writing the blog. When life speeds up, and I have more to write about, I tend to post less. (I'm sorry I'm repeating answers, but Molly's were so good! Why change a good thing?)

2. What I can and can't say. Because this blog is public, and anyone can read it, there are things I can't write about here. Pretty dark things that I would actually like some of you to hear about, but not all of you. Like, sometimes I have to keep it lighter than I actually want. 'Cause dude, my parents read this shit! I can't run the risk of them hearing about that all night coke and hooker fest I had last weekend. That would not be appropriate. At all. (FYI, the coke? Hot. The hookers? Hotter.)

3. I'm a perfectionist, and I know I'm a solid writer, but I also know that I'm not the best writer in the world, and goddamn it if it doesn't bother me. Because like, it bothers me! One of the primary reasons I don't post (other than reason #1) is that I'm not sure I can capture the things that happen to me in any given week precisely the way I know I want them captured. I can maybe get close, but not all the way. There's insecurity there, and it's deeply rooted. What can I say? We all have our crosses to bear.

Well, there you have it. That's me, summed up as a blogger.

Don't hate me for the smoking. I swear I'm going to kick it. I can master it, I know I can. It's just going to take more will-power than I thought. I'll keep you updated . . .

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Blogger Mr Lady said...

Once upon a time, in a far away imaginary land we shall call, oh, Zanada, there was a young girl named Mr. Lady. Mr. Lady was happily wasting away dude to the effects of tar and nicotine until one day, she realized that she smelled awful. And she was wrinkling. And her BFF's mom was sick. And cigs cost 2 1/2 times in Zanada what they do in Denver, her home sweet home. And she resolved to quit.

She public announced that she would quit. She told her children she was quitting. She blogged about quitting. Shit was happening, yo.

Two days into quitting, she cheated. Just a little, a bit of a drunken makeout, you know? NO BIG DEAL. And then her darling little angel cracked his motherfucking skull wide open at gymnastics, and she was all alone with three little people and a shitton of blood, and she cheated a bit bigger. Like, handjob cheated.

Next thing Mr. Lady knew, cigs were stopping by while her husband was at work, they were showing up at the door after the kids went to bed, hell, they were messaging her on Facebook and shit.

Who is one little Mr. Lady against such all-encompassing passion?

Mr. Lady decided she needed some sort of intervention. She recently obtained a restraining order against cigs. It is a Class B, section 3 Wellbutrin and after a week or two at 300mg, Mr. Lady has been assured that cigs will not dare attempt to come over, lest they be met with retching and hurling and shit.

The restraining order also has a clause in it to the effect that the teeth-grinding, nail-biting, insomnia-inducing, socio-phobic heebidy-geebies also are to be PUT ON NOTICE, meaning that Mr. Lady should be able to commence with her wooing of YOU any day now.

9:36 PM  
Blogger molly_g said...

How can I follow that? Don't worry about it. You will do it. Cold turkey is kind of an unreasonable expectation, but I'm glad you tried it. Now you can try something else.

Just don't do the Chantix. Please. I'm serious.

10:10 AM  
Blogger Alison said...

Yay hypnotherapy!

2:06 PM  
Blogger caty said...

Dude, i heard that's how Ben Affleck quit smoking. And HE was turned onto hypnotherapy by none other than his BFF, Matt. You know, Matt Damon.

BTW, What are you thinking about this weekend?

9:57 PM  
Anonymous aubrey said...

Leslie, I still have not given up pasta, nasal spray, or sleeping medication. I feel a little less alone in the world knowing that you're cheating... But seriously, maybe we could encourage eachother or something. XOXO

5:33 PM  
Blogger Leslie Dillinger said...

Aww. You guys rock. Thank you for being so supportive. I heart you all!

7:47 PM  
Blogger Diane said...

Hang in there and keep up the fight.

8:00 AM  

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